Friday, May 27, 2005

Kicking and Screaming

Wow. Jesse Dylan, brother of Jakob (The Wallflowers) and son of Bob (The Legend), decided to knock his famous family down a notch with the cinematic masterpiece that is “Kicking And Screaming”.
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Oh wait. It was shit.

Generally a movie that would be on my, “I’m way too cool to see that movie” list, I was outnumbered 3 to 1 by my fellow movie going friends. It was a toss up between this and Monster In Law, and I went for the lesser of two evils.

Basically, the movie consists of, and in no particular order, Will Ferrel feeling like (and being) an incompetent idiot, a bunch of ugly kids who can’t play soccer for shit, some really cool Italian kids that I would date if they were at least 15, coffee, vitamins, balls, and Robert Duvall.

The star of the show, the winner of the Oscar, is without a doubt,
Steven Anthony Lawrence (Cheaper By The Dozen). This is the ugliest kid I have ever seen on film. Who let this kid into the club? Maybe I’ve been mislead, but I thought Hollywood was strictly for the beautiful people and semi-attractive extras.

The movie is an outlet for Jesse Dylan to express his pain, anguish, and embarrassment for being the runt of the family. The
chubby, ugly one that wasn’t blessed with a velvet voice and a bad ass look.

Better luck next time.

9 comments:

hue jass said...

You're hot and you have a velvet voice of your own!

hue jass said...

you're skin is like buttah, baby. You must exfoliate daily!

Dickolas Wang said...

Wow, it's cold in hell today.

Another Bystander in a World of Dementia said...

Sizzle....LoL!

T said...

If you actually played competitive sports as a kid you would get just how funny the middle part of this movie is when will ferrell goes all ape-shit.. it's hilarious!.. realistically makes fun of loser parents that take children's sports wayyy to seriously.. I've seen plenty of it in hockey and lacrosse.. funny movie, gay-bar ending.. I'll agree w you on the ugly kid though.. geez, waz up with that.. ugly and annoying!

east side love said...

t, you never played competitive sports, you were always the team's number 1 cheerleader and the first guy off the bench to high five the starters. get back on the bench you bench warmer for life, you got no game. quit trying to act like you do.

-east side love

stating the obvious said...

Does anyone in here know anything about the term, "target demographics?" Well obviously not. This "movie" was not intended for an intellectually mature audience, and apparently, neither is this review. It's a "family movie" you morons. It's intended to yield profits off the original fiscal investment. Get over it. Not all movies are intended to be legitimate forms of artistic and/or social commentary. This is NOT, I repeat, NOT, a movie to be taken seriously. If you don't understand that, you may want to keep your elementary opinions to yourself. Just so you know, there are hundreds of terrible movies made every year with the intentions of making money. What's next, a review on the new Britney Spears album? Let me guess, "it sucks." What a revelation. A wise man once said, "Don't speak your opinions on subjects you know nothing about." Heed his words.

Dave Harty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dave Harty said...

Hey, that kid looks like the love spawn of Cameron Diaz and Alfred E. Newman. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?