Friday, June 17, 2005

Amelie/Love Me If You Dare

The French are good for one thing, romantic comedies. That’s not saying that the French aren’t useless, they are, but their take on romance in cinema is far beyond the usual romantic comedy formula we see in North American movies to date.

This post was actually a request from my mulatto brotha’ frum anotha’ motha’ “Singul Mather” (please don’t kill me, big guy) but since I haven’t seen Amelie in ages, I decided to couple it with a review of another fabulous romantic comedy by the Frogs.

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Audrey Tautou. What a fucking cutie. It makes me sick. The entire movie depends on this girl’s absolutely incredible acting. The girl has a whimsical curiosity about her, a real presence. Let’s not forget the genius of the actual story. I mean, a love story told by the French is a true fairy tale. The colours, the characters, the odd bouts of animation, Amelie’s cute quirks, and the narration are something to be marveled. When this movie came out, everyone suddenly became “cultured” and “into” foreign films. Well, if this is the only foreign film you see, that’s alright with me, it’s a good one.
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Love Me If You Dare
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Certainly less popular than Amelie but hardly inferior, this film is so fabulous. This ranks up there as one of the most original love stories I’ve seen in film, close behind Pearl Harbour. Again, the movie relies much on the acting and also includes small bits of animation and is narrated. (I tend to have a liking for narrated films.) The movie begins with a game of “Dare” between two children, that continues throughout their entire life, making it difficult for any real emotions to develop. Rather than the usual 5-minute argument in any She’s All That love story, the anger and ugliness in this film doesn’t go away, it’s a main character. Both movies are hilarious, sad, depressing, inspiring and on and on.

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North American Romantic Comedies –

Don’t freak out on me. I know that not ALL North American romantic comedies run like this and I know that not ALL foreign romantic comedies don’t, I’m clearly making a generalization.

Girl and Guy meet.
Girl and Guy fall in love.
Girl and Guy have some sort of secret or lie between them.
Girl or Guy finds out the secret or lie in a big dramatic scene.
Girl or Guy runs away in a fit of anger or sadness.
Girl or Guy runs after the sad one.
Girl and Guy make up.
Girl and Guy live happily ever after.

Example: How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, She’s All That, Along Came Polly, Pretty Woman, You’ve Got Mail, Rock Star, Pearl Harbour, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Princess Diaries, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Shallow Hal, The Wedding Planner, Chasing Liberty, Simply Irresistible, Almost Famous, Josie and The Pussycats, A Walk To Remember, Life Or Something Like It, 28 Days, Hitch, Bubble Boy, Empire Records, Closer, Sweet November, Chasing Amy, About a Boy, Save The Last Dance, Love Actually, Maid in Manhattan, How To Deal, Runaway Bride, The Good Girl, Two Weeks Notice, Jersey Girl, and shall I go on?

They’re made to make money and they make it, so be it.

Ps. Pearl Harbour is quite possibly the worst movie in existence.
Pps. This makes the Negro community and I even.


Christina said...

I saw that film and thought...jeez that actress is great and really fun to watch. What a wonderful choice to post on.

Singul Mather said...

Madamme I read the entire thing with a smile. Indeed we are even , in fact Mr. Chapelle called my mother earlier tonight and asked her to tell me to tell you there are no hard feelings. He did say however that any skinny white bitch will receive a cap in her ass NWA style , for any future slanderings. Whatever I think it was just a bluff.

True that the French are amazing lovers , artists , and they know way too much about Moroccan hashish , but we've all got our quirks. I mean after seeing a movie like this all is forgiven. Can anyone believe they pulled out on the European Union though? Man , Euro trash will never be the same without that blood curdling accent. Life certainly does go on.

Amelie is one of my favourite flicks. After a friend of mine , who is in film school , put this movie on , I must have been making fun of him for a whole three minutes. But did I ever shut up , once the film started. What an amazing use of colour , and the cinematography; spectacular. AST thanks again. And if anyone liked Amelie , check out "Delicatesen" , same director. Or "Dirty Pretty Things" , same cutie. What a cause for celebration. Also I wanna start posting short writngs on my own site , but I can't get past the dashboard , can anybody help a brother out? Thanks.

A Sheltered Town said...

I'll give you a hand. on msn or e-mail.

G-Man said...

Where the hell have you been hiding?? This is very cool stuf!

Though, I'm sure that you won't be around for long, now that you've unveiled Hollywood's best-kept secret: the RomCom formula.

Watch out for the Men in Black that are bound to pop up in your neighborhood shortly.

PS. I liked Pearl Harbour. Does that mean I'm a lost case?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Garbage--

It just means you have hideously bad taste. Awful, unacceptably pathetic taste. You're hardly a lost cause, therefore, as you will find you are in good company.

-Captain Moody

A Sheltered Town said...

Pearl Harbour is the Romantic Comedy formula 4 times. It happens FOUR TIMES. My god, it's one of the only movies I was tempted to walk out of. Also Lord of the Rings 2 and The Perfect Score.

Dave Harty said...

Movies I've walked out of:

- Scary Movie

- Timeline (except I rented this, so I walked out of my living room.

Singul Mather said...

hey all , seems Amelie lacks controversy , perhaps it's a good thing. Anyway I think there is a seed of reasoning here between all these blogs.

1. Is it that the general 'Western' movie going public , is made up of a large % of crackheads , who haven't got much of a memory?

2. Hollywood big dix and their counterpart producers , already know #1. is true , and they just keep feeding us the same shitty formula , cos it's just that easy?

3. Or three the film schools of the world don't really teach any of this as relevant matter , and just focus on the technical aspects of scrip writing , camera work , and acting?

I dont't really know , but I've recently grown fond of the cinema , and I was thinking to go to film school once I found some time , and $. I hate seeing our race going into a veggie state , so that's why this carries relevance for me , but H.wood is defenitely a money making machine.
Shameless what they've done with the art , just to turn out a few more starlets , and move more units.

I remember S. Speilberg , talking on CNN , shortly after 9/11 they had that superstar telethon to raise $ for the victims. " Hello , this is Rosie O'Donnel , how much would you like to pledge sir?" Anyway S.S. was saying how , the directors guild should take notice , to never make a film about this event. All the while this fucking tit , has been raking it in on Saving Private Ryan , Band Of Brothers , and Schindler's List. He did direct all of those if I'm not mistaken. Hypocricy sucks gutter balls. But all those forementioned films , are great compared to the many others served aside. So who else is confused? Hillary Duff , by the way , is S.S.'s niece. Now you know , way to keep it in the fam Steven.

Yup a monkey making machine. Pass it on. Okay I've poured the fuel , who's got a light?

ps . Ast I think I've got it figured out?? We'll see... And did you really see all those films you listed? That's like $125 bones. Sheeiit...

G-Man said...

Mmh... 4 times you say?

I guess I'll have to pull out my Director's Cut Collector's Edition and start counting...

PS. Worst movie I've ever seen: Wilbur wants to kill himself. Dogville is a close second.

A Sheltered Town said...

It doesn't look like you've got it figured out, Singul. Add me, I'll set this shit straight.

Singul Mather said...

I got it challnger , I'm just really busy with preparing for my final exam , which is tomorrow. There will be some real nice bloggin' to come after that ya?..

Have you seen the new batman yet movie lady? I'm also curious about Madagascar. But like you said we're even so there will be no more requests for the time being. Later.

Daddy said...

Romantic Comedies to me are like fast food joints, they are everywhere and serve some uber-captialist purpose while disguising themselves as valid nutritional options. I therefore, as a rule, chose not to watch romantic comedies, just as I choose not indulge in a Whopper with Cheese (tasty as some may profess it to be) However, this boycott is not a hard and fast rule. Afterall, I occasionally find myself on predominately meaningless first dates with vapid brainless twits all dreamy-eyed at the thought of a perfectly romantic traditional date entailing a customary dinner and a movie, and in my attempts to not disappoint I regretably always let her drag me into some formulaic heart-string tugger starring some equally dreamy-eyed twit who happens to have recently graduated from the Meg Ryan school of crap acting, and Ben Affleck.

So in light of the inevitability of my suffering, I've chosen the lesser of all romantic comedy evils: British romantic comedies. I.E. About a Boy, Love Actually, etc. And yes, I do enjoy Hugh Grant.
Let me state for the record that the glaring exception to this is the whole Bridgitte Jones Diary and its equally intolerable sequel, mainly because Renee Zelwegger is a swamp donkey and I could mime a better british accent than she can muster with all her classical Actors Studio Training. But I digress.

Anyways, in conclusion: Romantic Comedies generally blow. British are more tolerable. Rene Zelwegger married Keney Chesney and now owns a sawed off shot-gun.

eponymous said...

Nice review of Amelie. For other French movies with a bit more bite, I would recommend the following:

C'est arrivé près de chez vous (also known as "Man Bites Dog") - a terrific mockumentary about a film crew and the serial killer that seduces them, it starts out banal and rather uninteresting, but give it time

High Tension - the quintessential French Slasher movie, not that the genre is that big, but damn, this is an instant classic.

Du rififi chez les hommes (also known as "Rififi") - directed by the blacklisted Jules Dassin, this French heist flick is perhaps the best of the genre I've ever seen. The 30 minute heist itself is done in absolute silence, and you won't even notice it.

That's all I can think of right now...

A Sheltered Town said...

I've been looking for Man Bites Dog for awhile now. It's a bit much for my local video store, I think.

eponymous said...

I've been looking for Man Bites Dog for awhile now. It's a bit much for my local video store, I think.


Or, if you were to ask real nicely, a burned copy might arrive by snail mail in 3-5 days...

Mary said...

Hi A Sheltered Town I am on a quest looking for information on romantic song. I ran across your blog doing a search and thought I would stop by to see if you had any information. Hey, it is nice to see that other people like the same things I do. Anyway thanks for the read.