Friday, June 10, 2005

www.TShirtHell.com

Many of the fine folks I bless with my presence know about my devout love for an apparel company called T-Shirt Hell. The fine folks also know about my recent and devout hatred for the company, as shown with my msn nickname “Suck my cock, t-shirt hell”. I’d like to publicly announce my newest realization: I love T-Shirt Hell!

I found this company online a few years ago and instantly fell in love. Many of the people that (still) talk to me are well aware of my rather offensive sense of humour and I tend to pride myself on having “no line”. Any joke has the potential of being funny. Whether it be a joke about a deaf, dumb and blind kid getting cancer, an African American fellow getting arrested or a classic sex-with-minors joke, it’s simply about timing, execution and having a worthy audience.

Just because a joke has something to do with you directly, doesn’t mean it’s not funny. I can’t even count the abundant amount of e-mails that t-shirt hell has received (they’re posted on the site) that go off about “Well, the shirts about black people were super funny but cancer? My mom died of cancer, please stop making shirts about it”. Let’s stop fooling ourselves; if you’re a racist, you don’t have the right to get offended by dead mom jokes. You’re either in or you’re out. You’ve either got a line, or you don’t.

The site features a “Worse Than Hell” section where all of the potentially extremely offensive shirts are stored. I have lost many “friends” because of the Worse Than Hell section and so I was thoroughly disappointed when the entire section was taken down.

Ok. I wasn’t disappointed. I was steaming fucking mad.

The section was taken down because “people were needlessly offended” by the shirts in there. This meant that T-Shirt Hell had a line and I don’t believe in lines.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, the site was really taken down because someone poisoned the creator of T-Shirt Hell. I’m serious. What a joke.

A news report was posted on the site along with a notice from the creator himself explaining the entire issue and announcing the re-launch of Worse Than Hell. Along with the launch came six absolutely stunning t-shirts including “Dave Chappelle went back to Africa. One down.”

Aaron Schwarz, the creator, has decided that he is willing to be a martyr for free speech and for that, I thank him. My baby is back!

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Censorship is obscene.

56 comments:

Demosthenes said...

Asthma... that deep breathing... the unveiling of shiny white inhaler... hard physical activity... I tell you what.

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing at anyone who's gullible enough to believe t-shirt hell's new marketing angle. "I'm gonna be a martyr in the name of free-speech! Buy my t-shirts and support free speech!" hahahahahahaha you moron

Stevie K said...

Shelby, who are these people? Who are you?

Anonymous said...

beware the rabbit hole

Demosthenes said...

Okay, the first comment was an inside joke. Everything else seems pretty random. I have always thought that the term "rabbit hole" was a little cliché... it should be "platypus hole" or something more relevant. Perhaps "badger hole."

Anonymous said...

Even if Stevie Wonder and James Brown were taking turns with this broad , she'd still be a soul less little bastard. How's that for free speach?

Demosthenes said...

We should have an ID system here to distinguish between the people who are grilling Shelby for fun and those who are really offended. I'm not sure there actually are any...

A Sheltered Town said...

Hell, I don't even know. I just assume they all hate me, it's more likely.

Anonymous said...

she was a glamorous looking girl...then she opened her mouth.

A Sheltered Town said...

That's from www.gapingvoid.com. I'll give the props, since "Anonymous" has no idea where the quote came from.
"They were a glamorous looking crowd. Then they opened their fucking mouths".

Dave Harty said...

Shelby...That's a nice name. Up until now I was going to begin calling you Lizzie, because you kind of look like one. I read every last t-shirt on TshirtHell, plus everything in worse than hell...and then everything in baby hell, and then I signed up for the newsletter. I don't care about what the author has said in his spare time, these shirts are fucking awesome! I'd buy a few, but I'm fucking broke. I will however post a link to them on my portfolio site (when that comes into existence.)

Anonymous said...

Too bad he wasn't poisoned. People who do nothing other than critque and tear the shit out of ppl are worthless. Censorship is obscene, but so are malicious people. Martyr for free speech? What a pompous ass. Like he has anything worth saying to defend. Anybody who wastes their time critiquing while escaping judgement by not producing anything worthwhile themselves(therefore having no grounds to judge due to lack of knowledge of methods) is a hypocrite. Anybody who makes a living off of belittling people should slit their throat for the benefit of those around them. Think about how miserable the world would be to live if everybody followed these examples.

jedith said...

wow, your language is quite vulgar...

A Sheltered Town said...

They're just words. You give them every meaning they have. He makes his living by understanding the psychology of humans, their humour and their buttons. He pushed yours, therefore, he won. It's easy to talk big when you're anonymous, too bad Aaron Schwarz doesn't have that opportunity. I have no reason to believe he wasn't actually poisoned when people like this come forward. Since I don't plan to start a fight like the good ol' Star Wars post, this is the last I'll say on the matter.

Anonymous said...

it's no wonder why these shirts are so popular... although i don't know anyone who owns one. it's the same reason why WWF wrestling makes millions every year, shitty music always seems to top the charts in record sales, shitty disposable movies sell tickets, etc. there are alot of stupid trashy people out there. some of those shirts made me chuckle but most ofthem are all about cheap shock value. nothing clever whatsoever. its like taking somethig overheard at a playground and sticking it on a shirt. now that we're talking about psychology, what is the psychology of someone that would wear these shirts? i wanna see someone wear the dave chappelle shirt in the bronx. now that would be funny. nothing on that site offends me. its the realization that there are people who actually think its cool that offends me. why poison the creator? he should shake a liberal amount of anthrax in every shirt as a special promo. now that would be funny.

Jay said...

The same people buy shirts that read, "I'm with stupid ->" or have bumper stickers that say something profound like, "My other car is a ___." As I stated before, free speech seems to be a necessary evil in our society. It is in fact a right, but irritatingly enough, the empty cans seem to rattle the most... and this site proves my point. The only people who tend to get censored are the ones who actually have something worthwhile to say. It's sad isn't it? Let's dream and pray that one day, the bar is raised.

"Anybody who makes a living off of belittling people should slit their throat for the benefit of those around them."

You got that right. Funny how the best posts in here come from people posting as "anonymous."
"She was a glamorous looking girl..." made me choke on my morning coffee. So did the Stevie Wonder comment. Someone should put those on T-shirts and give it to AST to wear. So true, so true.

And yes, I'd love to see AST wear the Chappelle shirt in public since she thinks it's so amazing. That would be like throwing a feeder mouse into a piranha tank.

I'm all for offensive messages that strike a nerve in society. As long as they're done using intelligence and they serve an ultimate social purpose. Is that really too much to ask for? Really now, what purpose is served by poking fun at a blind autistic black kid with terminal brain cancer? Does this really make some of you laugh? Good luck to you. Karma's a bitch.

Anonymous said...

I think angry guy above was ripping the webstress too: "Anybody who wastes their time critiquing while escaping judgement by not producing anything worthwhile themselves(therefore having no grounds to judge due to lack of knowledge of methods) is a hypocrite."

Anonymous said...

Leave AST alone. Heartless b*tches sh*ting all over vulnerable people are cool. Freespeech is pretty awesome when it doesn't go your way, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a pretty wild Friday night there little girl. I'm not shocked by many things since I've seen Clockwork Ornage on acid. But while driving around , after I came across your blog , I've been the playing the ponderer.

Growing up half black/white , wasn't a very traumatic thing for me , I'm now 23 and the whole thing is quite tame to me , but hearing my parents speak about it with disgust is a completely diffrnet thing. they had it a bit rougher , luckily they had huge hippy cushions to sit around on and contemplate humanity's problem with colour. See I'm lucky , I can say both nigger and chink while drowning crackers in a spicy spic dip , without feeling a bit of remorse for the things that just came out of my mouth. It's just a little word , I'm tone deaf so whole , and half note diffrences plus derogatory comments don't even register with me. I'm feeling a bit niggardly towards the lenght of time , I'll invest in writing this...

But alas we come to the point;
why is it that some people respond with pitchforks and some don't really care , but just want to throw in their two cents? Hmmmm...

Well here's a thought. Why not defend somehting or at least attack it , while I'm sitting here in this fine Ikea chair , wasting my life away on the net. Remember it was Al Gore , who coined the term information superhighway , and where is he now? Far from the White House , I'll tell ya.

Once people are drawn into your movie critiques , they get off course and their personality rears it's ugly or not head. Why else are we here listening to what you thought about Star Wars? Who the fuck cares? It's one opinion , uneducated perhaps? I don't know you all can be the jury of that. But here's a slightly off beat character , giving us her thoughts on a pink platter , and the tech community goes apeshit? Hey masses how come Febuary was elected to be Black History Month? Shortest month of the year , name one person who can digest "Roots" By Alex Haley , in that span of time? Why not a black History year for pete's sakes? Every year!! That might unstick us off the topic of that Chapelle cheapshot. If rap artists didn't make such a big deal about letting white people use the nigger word in the late nineties , then it would get played out by the time Bad Boys unveiled their brilliant sequel.

I think we should all have access to that vocab , and use it as freely as we want to. That way it might get itself washed out of the social fabric and we can collectively move on to bigger and better topics like saving this cursed as Cobain fucking planet.
Oh , and for those niggers in the Bronx who some assume can read and would get mad at seeing that shirt , screw em. they got bigger problems , that's why they're so damn tense. It's Oprah Winfrey and Condoleezza Rice and other powerful entities , who make all the gullable crakers feel guilty. Who in turn teach their kids not to use that language. No , no , no use it up little chinks and spics and chugs , use it untill you find something more intresting. I personally liked coon. Man I'm one damn proud half coon motherfucker.

Oh and one more thing since we're all so smart and energetic for criticism. Maybe Mr. Shwartz can figure this one out , if not he can just pay someone to do it , damn pasty ass Jew. Why is it that we have such a huge problem with Sex and Violence , but when it's just violence on it's own the masses perk up their little ears to it?

I thought chicks liked it rough? I'm anonymous for now , but I'll come back as "Singul Mather"

And can somebody please review 'Amelie"? Yeah the foreig flick. Can u handle it AST?

Stevie K said...

Hey Shelby, question: do you think these people are talking to you because they find your blog inspiring, or because you have that glamour shot at the top of your page? Just out of curiosity, why don't you remove it for a few weeks and see what happens? I'm curious to see how this will affect your comments.

Anonymous said...

Hey Stevie K: i don't think anyone here is "inspired" by some ignorant high school girl's blog. she just tends to say / post some really retarded things that creates a necessity to leave a comment, that's all. it's all in good fun since we really don't know her or give a shit about her anyways. but hey she's asking for it.

Dickolas Wang said...

Aw fuck, I wanted to get the 20th comment. I look away for ONE day...

Not that I can be bothered to read all of the previous comments, fascinated by it all as I am.

Liberta said...

Free speech, OK i accept that but you don't have to be a bitch about. Why should people have to walk down the same street as someone wearing one of those T-Shirts. 'The Worse Than Hell' ones are a load of bullshit and no one should be able to make money from selling rascism and making perverted or sick comments anyone who wants to buy those shirts and even worse wears them are complete losers who need to realise that there is a point when you can take free speech too far.

A Sheltered Town said...

Thanks, Mr. Bush.

Stevie K said...

Shelby, although I pity you for your little fan club here, I certainly envy your patience.

Ikari said...

Stop trying to get in her pants Steve.

Anonymous said...

actually, you're way off on that one dude....
steve's gay.

Dave Harty said...

Defend freedom of speech by keeping your goddamned mouth shut. I'm sick of everyone using their brains and saying things. I think the goverment should step up and tell us what we can and can't say. Better yet, it should be against law, just for thinking the wrong way. In the words of Homer Simpson, "By the way, I was being sarcastic." I am human, hear me speak. I defend the right to be offensive, vular, perverted, creative, intelligent, funny, depressing, sexy, and every other lable, here there and far between. It's my mouth, my choice.

Dickolas Wang said...

And...

Dickolas Wang said...

30th comment!

Liberta said...

You don't have the right to make people feel uncomfortable or upset. We all deserve to leave in an environment where we can feel happy and safe and if the label on your t-shirt is offensive it shouldn't be there. Just like Thumper said in Bambi 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' That's why perverts and rascists get locked up, because it is WRONG!

A Sheltered Town said...

Sorry babe, the world isn't a Disney movie.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Liberta,

It's ironic that you typed "leave" instead of "live", don't you think?

Oh, and racists don't go to jail unless they do something illegal, such as kill someone. I believe they go to jail as murderers, however. Not as racists.

Try to quote a source more powerful than Bambi next time you're trying to make one of your incoherant, shortsighted, ignorant points.

-Captain Moody

Liberta said...

Ignorant? Yes i do realise that you cannot just be locked up for being rascist, i am not ignorant. The only people who are ignorant here are the people who beleive that those t-shirts are funny, who beleive that it is perfectly acceptable to live your life and treat other people like scum.
I'm sorry that i made a typo but as for incoherant and shortsighted i think maybe it would be more revelant if it was related to someone else's post.
I'm just disappointed that the majority of the people who left comments here seem to think the same way as you Captain Moody and that there aren't more decent people around...

A Sheltered Town said...

Before you quote Disney, maybe you should look into their history of racist propaganda and pornography.

Anonymous said...

Perverts and racists aren't in jail, they're millionaires and world leaders.

Dave Harty said...

Sticks and stones and violent people will break my bones, but words will never ever in a million years hurt me. (Or you, for that matter.)

Liberta said...

I'm sorry for quoting Disney, since this seems to be your main problem with what i have said, just because i quoted them does not mean that i am sticking up for them or their whole ethos! I just thought that, that particular quote was very relevant, i obviously should of referenced it from someone else. One of the other thousands of people who have said it before, for instance my grandma and my great grandma.
So now from me and no one else, feel free to speak out sensibly but don't splash it across your t-shirt that you think like an ignorant, prejudiced...because some people don't want to know how hypocrital and nasty you can be. You have freedom of speech and we should have the freedom to choose whether we want to hear your opinions.

Anonymous said...

Liberta you are an idiot. Freedom of choice means that you have the choice to turn the TV off, switch the radio station, or not read something if it offends you. No one's forcing you to read anyone's T-shirt if it offends you so much. Again, you are a moron. Do yourself a favor never get into a debate about any topic ever again cuz you can't handle it.

A Sheltered Town you're just an annoying ignorant little bitch that talks too much about nothing.

Dickolas Wang said...

40th comment!

Anonymous said...

this is just like a debate we had in my tenth grade social studies class.
...no wonder i hated high school.

Singul Mather said...

While taking a short pause from a tedious task of living known as breathing , I came across a handful of slashy , bashy men and women. Oh and one chink , who seems to love numbers divisible by ten. I found him quirkiest and most intresting of all. Big ups to bok choy , you is the man.

I did not however see the disturbed and divine AST , in a moment of her patented crown worthy glory. Where is that Amelie review I asked for? If necessary I can and will pay for it. How's two cents sound? It is the going rate ya?

Anyway I will wait untill you grace us with your delightfully offensive reviews , of whatever it is you feel like reviewing...

Oh and Mr. Wang , please don't hate me for saying those things , i was just demonstarting a point. Imagine poor Aaron Schwatrz , having his foreskin cut off , at the tender age of 13 , while his friends enjoyed kanappes with with kosher dills in a NY apartment , while some Moujahaddin broke down the door and sprayed the jews with soviet bought kalishnakofs. Would you think the world were a better place , if that happened? Ah fuck it I'm gonna go practice my swastikas. Peace.

A Sheltered Town said...

It's comin', big guy.

Dickolas Wang said...

That's Dr. Wang to you.

I don't know if I should be applauding you or not, and quite frankly I just can't be bothered to read all of the comments here to figure it out.

Liberta said...

I'm sorry that you think i'm moron! I just wanted to air my views because this was one thing i couldn't keep quiet about. Maybe i am a little ignorant and maybe if you think i can't handle this you are right even though i feel in complete control. But this could have something to do with the fact that i am only 15 years old, and i'm sorry to say that i am disappointed to live in world where people support things like T-shirt hell. It was obviously a little ignorant for me to expect adults to be the sensible people who don't get kicks out of crude jokes. How is the world supposed to change if you guys are our dictators! Sorry, i think i have said all i wanted to say. Goodbye!

Singul Mather said...

Dr. Wang it is then. I'm glad that we're on the same page kind fellow.

The next few words are intented for our younger participant. Quoting Thumper may have been like quoting Richard Simmons , or Charro , who you might not have heard of. But the bottom line is that we the people , are a bitter and jaded commodity. You'll never want to run with us , and never apologize. It shows lack of many things , like balls for instance.

Think of it like you are the chosen one , and today you've been elected for life training. It was your first lesson. Learn from it what you will , but I would advise you spend your time honing your martial arts skills , and staying away from spam and chat rooms. If you don't you may too become a farting lout , who prides himself/herself , on having an opinion. Go save the world young one , you are the future. Or at least become a trained specialist , like the good Dr. Wang. Good day to all.

Liberta said...

I may be 15 but i am not idiot. I know what world i want to live in and it is not an unrealistic dream.
C’è un mondo bello, dove umanità credono in verità, libertà, bellezza e amore. Un posto senza malvagio, un posto in nostro cuori. Questa è la verità. Perché non possiamo abitare ecco?
Don't underestimate me as a person...

Demosthenes said...

I'm speechless. See this, THIS is what happens when I don't post enough. Ladies, ladies, PLEASE, back to your corners. To you, Liberta, LET IT GO. Don't get into an argument with Shelby of any kind; you will lose. I'm not trying to be mean, just save you some ridicule. To you, Shelby, I know this girl is opposing you, but please simmer it down. She's fifteen! Both of you come to my blog and we can sort things out. That's all we need; some neutral territory.

Singul Mather said...

Ma friend L. I respect those values of yours , and though Io non parlo molto Italino ( it's a singing language , ya ) I know what you mean. But don't be mad at me , because it's not like I told you to run along and play with your legos , so don't tell me I was downsizing your personality. None of that touche crap , ya?

Moving right along this I think is the 49 th message , so alley oop to Dr. Wang. Enjoy and do hurry before someone spoils it.

Dave Harty said...

50th comment! Whee! Dave rules.

Dickolas Wang said...

w00t

Dickolas Wang said...

Fuck.

Dave Harty said...

Sorry Dick, you had a pretty good monopoly for a while there.

shay v. said...

Wow. I cannot believe that I just spent all of this precious life time reading such a ridiculous array of opinions. Interesting, yes, but...let's all get off the computer and start living life. Suck fresh air, eat cold strawberries and touch someone's else's skin...not just the lifeless keys of these computers. Oh, and I don't care what they say, AST, I like your style. You say what you want and ya gotta respect that...Out.

Apparel said...

Nice read buddy i like it
to b frank i do not like t shirt hell they are funny but you cant dare to wear it that is why i like to buy got apparel online stores

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