Thursday, July 28, 2005

Tara Reid

I planned to review “Man Bites Dog” but I was sitting at work reading Hollywood Gossip when it dawned on me:

Tara Reid is disgusting.

What on earth happened to her? Not that she was ever particularly appealing (in my humble opinion) but it seems that in the last few years, she’s really gone down hill. Let’s start with her current achievements in the movie world:

Wait a minute. Has she ever done a movie other than The Big Lebowski that is even worth mentioning? Van Wilder? Just Visiting? My Boss’ Daughter? Alone in the Dark? Ahem. No.

She is known for her minimal role as a complete slut/psycho/gold digger in The Big Lebowski, her role as a complete slut/psycho in American Pie and last but not least her role as a blonde ditz in Josie and the Pussycats. I think we’ve summed up Tara Reid’s personality.

Now that we’ve torn that apart, let’s pull apart her appearance:

I found this photo about a year ago and have kept it stashed in my “Misc. Pics” file for a special occasion. It is finally time to unveil it to the world. Perhaps I’m exaggerating or blowing this out of proportion but I honestly felt a little bit embarrassed for woman-kind:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
That’s a nice outfit, hun.

Since that photo, many have been circulating around the Internet about Tara’s rather deep delve into the world of plastic surgery. Maybe she’s cheap or just doesn’t know where to go, but she’s had a few unfortunate results as result of going under the knife. She’s clearly had possibly the worst tit job in the history of bad tit jobs. She also got approximately thirty thousand pounds of fat sucked out of her stomach. It’s people like me that made Tara Reid anorexic back in 2001. Sorry, I’m glad you got your healthy self-image back, girl.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

What’s worse is that people actually find this woman to be attractive. I’ve talked to many men who drool at the mention of her and she was voted 49th sexiest woman in the world according to Stuff Magazine (2002). Not to mention the fact that she sounds like a man, not even a feminine man, a lumberjack.

This is my disclaimer: I know that this may or may not bring on an onslaught of slanderous comments, defacing my personality and looks but I’ve started to get used to it. In fact, it’s kind of growing on me. I know that, in the words of my good friend Rick, “she’s probably a better person than I am” and I have no right to judge others and yadda yadda yadda. Apparently getting ripped apart comes with the territory of acting and blogging. Don’t rip me apart for ripping Tara apart. Let’s just love one another.

"Once you get to know me, you would know in a second that I am an East Coast girl. You can tell because I'm not flaky, and I will tell you how it is. I also walk faster than they walk in L.A."


Hey, at least she’s an intellectual.

Ps. Man Bites Dog is next so GO RENT IT.
Pps. The plastic surgery photos are courtesy of Awful Plastic Surgery.
Pps. Who actually clicked on the midget porn link? It's ok to admit it. I'm not going to judge you. You sick fucks.

55 comments:

SystemShaker said...

Um....Tara Reid....

You know what really sucks? 90% of hollywood types would crumble under any kind of real visual scrutiny from the general public. The fact is, if you were to meet some of these "model type" celebrities you would find them to be shockingly average.

Take heart, all us regular folks, with a similar hair/clothes/makeup (even dudes!)/lighting/surgery treatment....many of us would look just as good.

Yeah....Tara is especially a good example of the power of an overrated celebrity elite.

G-Man said...

I never got the whole Tara hype. Having seen her up close and in full swing, I can honestly say she's way past her prime (whatever that means).

Being BFF with Paris isn't really helping, either.

P.S. You do realize that you're my #1 fan, right?!

I love it that you embrace your bad taste so openly. :)

(Someone had to fill the AST brownnosing quota of the day. Might as well be me.)

Elohimus Maximus said...

AST Tara Reid is not as hot as you...but jealusy is a sin. Repent and be forgiven! Otherwise the old man won't let us share a planet!
God 1
Sinners 0
TCOJCOEMLDS

A Sheltered Town said...

I'm pretty sure I'm not jealous of Tara Reid, babe. Never the less, I repent.

DIAMONDKT said...

Hey, stumbled upon your blog from Danica's blog...who by the way Danica seems to be making lots of random blog comment rounds lately. ;)

Anyways, not to sound like a creepy net guy, but your photo brings one word to mind - WOW.

Sure you are told alot how pretty you are, but one more time never hurts right? Hope you don't take that as weird and no I don't go around telling women I don't know online that they are beautiful. Just thought hell, why not say it - can't hurt and may brighten someone's day.

Interesting blog - Tara Reid doesn't really do much for me. I would say she's overrated too.

Wille said...

With regards to the plug for the Church in a strange foreign language (Swedish):
I recommended everyone to visit the page and have a good laugh at how seriously Tree et al take the whole thing.
And of course pay tribute to the one true church..

We are very secular and blasphemous here in Europe.
But blasphemy is entertaining.

CraigS said...

No, I believe you that your not jealous. But there is something a bit catty about taking apart an older woman who is "past it". Maybe former models are fair game, I don't know...

Sure you are told alot how pretty you are, but one more time never hurts right?

Diamondkt, this sort of thing doesn't impress chicks like AST - they just lap it up and dont respond...

We are very secular and blasphemous here in Europe.

Indeed - and look how well you are doing. Exchanging Christianity for, well, nothing, may not have been the smartest thing you guys ever did...

Anonymous said...

Craig, you unusually idiotic sack of shit, Europe is doing a hell of a lot better than North America on the whole. What exactly would you have them replace Christianity with? Scientology?

-Captain Moody

CraigS said...

Thanks for your intelligent and thoughtful reply Captain Moody...

eponymous said...

Exchanging Christianity for, well, nothing

A vast improvement if I do say so myself.

As for Tara Reid, ugh, she's hideous but not as bad as that Mena Suvari chick from "American Beauty."

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Yeah, Tara Reid is disgusting. Have you seen the latest round of pics? Her ass is....vomit-inducing.

Tara's Awful Ass

And more of her looking hideous:

Tara is Always Drunk

A Sheltered Town said...

She's such a charmer!

DIAMONDKT said...

CraigS said...
"Diamondkt, this sort of thing doesn't impress chicks like AST - they just lap it up and dont respond..."

Yeah I know. I actually wasn't trying to "impress" her or anything at all and I'm sure she hears how attractive she is all the time. So nothing new to her.

I only link back to bloggers that find my blog and comment on it first- I link back to them as a courtisy. I don't search for other random blogs, but when I saw her photo on another person's site who had commented on mine, the photo of course caught my eye so that is why I decided to stop by here. So yeah it's a little strange I did post here, but I wasn't trying to get her attention or lay it on thick or anything. She's a pretty girl and I think everyone would agree. So no harm in saying so I think.

justanothernickname said...

umm...........i have a question.......is anybody home to answer me

A Sheltered Town said...

And your question?

Elohimus Maximus said...

Tara Reid needs to repent for being.
God 1
sinners 0
TCOJCOEMLDS

BG said...

I stumbled upon your blog. I like your takes. Don't apologize and don't backtrack.

Demosthenes said...

A lumberjack indeed. Well put.

And now, the newbies need to be addressed:

Diamondkt... I applaud your tactics, the likes of which never before seen. Most people just start hitting on AST flat out while sucking up in the most obvious way possible. You, on the other hand, manage to do it subtly, while defending yourself against another blogger, thus calling even more attention to the fact you want her.

Yet another halpless victim has fallen into "The Category," if not slightly less hard than the usual chumps around here.

Demosthenes said...

And don't, for all our eye-rolling sakes, defend yourself. Please.

Another Bystander in a World of Dementia said...

haha... you guys post interesting things...

But I'm really waiting for those anonymous fucks to post.

They bring life to the blog none of us can produce.


cheerio.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'll be an anonymous person. Shelby, you're a total cunt.

steve said...

word. tara reid blows goats.

thanks for your encouragement.

R2METOO said...

Wow...Tara Reid looks super fuckin' hot with brown hair but that blonde cunt in the middle is a ditch pig.

CraigS said...

Whats happened to Tara Reid is pretty tragic. I'm can remember when she was considered super-hot.

The media can be very cruel sometimes. Her main crime seems to be that she got a bit older...

Dickolas Wang said...

Easy there, anonymous.

Another Bystander in a World of Dementia said...

haha...

To Tara,

The years have not been kind.

G-Man said...

How to be just like Tara.

Noh Dancer said...

Noodle has told me that you are forgiven for any unknown Jealousy you had. You're back in the "Cool" zone.

Another Bystander in a World of Dementia said...

She'd have actually looked better without her top in the first picture..

Ashley said...

A haiku movie review:

LOST IN SPACE
The Robinsons find
a CGI space monkey.
I hope they stay lost.

and another

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
We just couldn't watch,
but our friend suffered for us.
"It was god awful."


Oh yeah more here

http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Ginohn/poetry/HMR2004.html#HARRY_POTTER_3

DIAMONDKT said...

Demosthenes said...
"Diamondkt... I applaud your tactics, the likes of which never before seen. Most people just start hitting on AST flat out while sucking up in the most obvious way possible. You, on the other hand, manage to do it subtly, while defending yourself against another blogger, thus calling even more attention to the fact you want her. Yet another halpless victim has fallen into "The Category," if not slightly less hard than the usual chumps around here."

Ahh, no but think what you like and make a big deal if you want to. I would say you are over reacting and analyzing wrongly, but say what you please although I can assure you that you are waaaay off. AST complimented me back on my blog, but do I think she wants me? Of course not. I complimented my sister the other day on a new haircut she got...does that make me want lust after her too? No it doesn't, but the way you think you would probably say yeah. Some people say nice things in life from time to time, nothing shocking about it. Anyway, I think AST didn't think of it as anything more than what it was - a harmless compliment. So I'm sorry it's rubbing you the wrong way, but get over it.

DIAMONDKT said...

Demosthenes said…
"And don't, for all our eye-rolling sakes, defend yourself. Please."

Right, so you can have the last word. Sure man, go ahead and have the last word after I say this...

Learn to relax and stop taking harmless compliments people throw out in life as YOUR problem. It didn't even need to concern you in the first place. And no, what I replied to before was not me defending myself, it was me pointing out the fact that you are being ridiculous making a big deal about one stranger giving another stranger a harmless compliment. So why it is any of your concern to put your 2 cents in on that to being with is beyond me.

Now go ahead and reply and ramble on about it if you like. I wouldn't like to hold you back from the last word. Just a FYI I can't say I will even be back to the post to read it, but humor yourself and say it anyway if you like.

A Sheltered Town said...

Let's give it a rest. The compliment was harmless, I took no offense so there's no reason for anyone to get uppity. I can defend myself, if need be.

elhalo said...

she is hella nasty

Bchang said...

You seem so happy
Your smile is contageous
Why not fuck yourself

DIAMONDKT said...

AST, well said.

Steph said...

Oh man, Tara is just plain disgusting trash.

Elohimus Maximus said...

comments are for sinners. All sinners should repent or be cast into outerdarkness...the only people who have the authority from God to comment on blogs are members of the church (AST and me) the rest of you should repent or be cast into level 13 outerdarkness with infinity lives. Love you AST,
God 1
sinners 0
TCOJCOEMLDS

Beelzebub said...

Demos,
God says you need to stop getting mad every time some one hits on your fantasy girlfriend. it is hypocritical and offensive obviously you are only trying to impress her by attacking every one that might comment to her in a suggestive manor. God does not approve of Hypocrisy or Jealousy. Besides AST is spiritually married to Elohimus she is beyond your grasp, move on. He is a prophet what do you have to offer? Bitterness?

Our God is a Vengeful God, Sinners Repent!!

Dave Harty said...

40th comment!

Dave Harty said...

P.S. Celebrities are just as boring as everyone else. I heard Bob McJinkins of Westport, Virginia is getting married again. Don't care? Then who cares if Tom Cruise from Hollywood, California is? People is boring people.

CraigS said...

Time for a new movie review...

Sheets said...

Tara be a ho... even if she's very average in person..

Elohimus Maximus said...

Dave Harty needs to repent for being depressed.
God 51
sinners 0
TCOJCOEMLDS

Anonymous said...

I have a nasty review.You want nasty I got nasty covered,but my review isn't about movies. It is about this thing that we call the internet.

If this internet were a movie it would be a comedy of errors.
Internet chatrooms filled with people who have hate filled hearts.
Porn blogs made by amateur skanks showing what nobody in their right mind wants to see.
D2 gamers using whatever drity tricks and cheats that they can to
win or be the best.
Virus writers laughing as your computer melts down.
What a joke.How sad.How stupid.
This internet is.

Anonymous said...

I hate celebrities.
Not all but most people in the USA treat these celebs as if they are Gods and Goddesses.

I really don't care who Angelina Jolie of Tom Cruise or for that matter who any celeb is marrying and screwing,and I definately don't give a damn about their private lives.

Tom Cruise needs another squirt of liquid in his face.

Adam said...

Interesting that you posted about this, just yesterday I was talking to my friend about how Tara Reid is looking terrible. I'm not sure if it's drugs or what, but she's definitely aging a year every six minutes. My friend put it best:

"It's gotten to be that I wouldn't even try to get her drunk so she'd be more likely ball me. I'd just as soon keep the liquor for myself."

Grant said...

Tara gets attention because she is a cute a party chick -- like Paris Hilton. Too much partying gives people a hard look. That is where she is now.

None of that equals respect, but it does equal name/face recognition which is what H-wood responds to.

~~Sarah~~ said...

Tara Reid! My husband and I refer to her as "blow-job girl" because of American Pie. If I mention that she's going to be in a movie and use her real name, hubby always says,"Who?" and I say, "You know--Blow-job girl." "OH! Her. Okay." Hehehe, she's soooo gross!

Anonymous said...

Tara Reid...has been

Alice

Supermans Foot said...

Tara Reid is awesome. Now I know from previous posts you don't like scrubs but she was so sexy when she guestted in that, that I became a huge fan. Your quite attractive yourself too!

Anonymous said...

How is Dr. T and the Women a movie not worth mentioning?

Anonymous said...

she's got better tits than you

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